The Great Author Photo Dilemma

There comes a time in every author's life when they have to pass that coming-of-age moment in their writing career: the author bio picture. The process usually begins with hours staring into the mirror trying out various ways of holding your head, positioning your shoulders and/or hands so that you look intelligent, approachable, and attractive while downplaying your large nose that makes you look like a camel. Or like Tim Curry, according to a certain online Celebrity Look-a-like program which has in no way traumatized me, thank you very much.

I know most authors hate to get their bio pictures taken. A friend went through the whole sordid experience only to have her editor tell her that it looked too much like a yearbook picture.

And there's no way you want that.

(This isn't me. Though I swear this girl went to my high school. And kept Aqua Net hairspray in business.)

There's the life or death decisions of what to wear, which accessories, how to do your hair, whether to leave the hobo beard or go clean shaven, do your own makeup or hire someone else to do it who will cake it on so thick you wipe it off and end up doing it yourself anyway, etc. And then there's the all-important decision of the general feel of the picture--the mood you want to evoke.

There are so many options:

Thoughtful. (Make sure to stare into the distance.)

Amy Tan

Intense. (With a hint of I'm thinking of a hundred ways to incapacitate you.)

Jim Butcher

Other-worldly. (A good choice for paranormal authors.)

Yasmin Galenorn

Successful. (I'm surrounded by all the books I've published, which is, like, 5,000 more than you.)

James Patterson

Distinctive. (With curly hair that others can't resist pulling just to watch it bounce back. Yes, I have read Ramona the Pest.)

Jodi Piccoult

Scary. (Which is really unfortunate if you write for children.)

Shel Silverstein

Relaxed. (Because we all know writing a book is a breeze, right?)

J.K. Rowling

Leaning against something. (Argh! Should I lean against a wall or a lamp post? I can't decide!)

Jeffrey Deaver

With an interesting background. (I think this photo was doctored. I hope.)

Rachel Caine

Or, there's always this option.
That one sounds good to me.