Thursday, January 21, 2010

Jaime's Reader Rants

DO. NOT. name every single character of your book with a weird name *and* a strange nickname. If I have to wade through Jeremiah "Nostril" Fluffenbuffer having a conversation with "Pork Chop" Hepzibah Snogglebastermeier as they chase after Zelda "Twinkle Toes" Latishanda Grogglesnow and her best friend, Matilda "Princess" Eliana Schoenblad (See? You have a headache already just wading through that sentence don't you?), then I will throw your book across the room and say things my children shouldn't hear and it will all be your fault.

And I just might rant about it on my blog.

16 comments:

Don said...

This is very good advice. Thank you.

Um, stay right there while I go fire up the Find/Replace dialog...

Tess said...

Hehehehe....

I did name the itenerant preacher in my novel, Everlasting Love .. but I made a point to have every other name in the book be pretty normal. It's all about balance, I think.

And the image of you throwing the book is funny .

Nisa said...

Haha! It is good advice. I have an older post about names and this same advice. Rant away! *grin*

David J. West said...

I'll have to get you a copy of mine when it comes out so you can rant.

I am wishing now that I had named a gluttonous Nephite "Porkchop Alma"

WindyA said...

So what you're saying is you don't want to read about Hepzibah Bianca Marmalade-Ermintrude?

Man, I totally thought I'd found a beta reader in you!

Elana Johnson said...

ROTFL! So...what were you reading? Inquiring minds...

L.T. Elliot said...

I do have a headache from reading that. ;) I'd chuck the book and let loose a few naughties myself.

Carolyn V. said...

Hee hee, I'll make a note of it.

Jaime Theler said...

David - Ha Ha! I might just read it so I can laugh.

Windy - We might have to leave that option open for now...

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Hahahaha! Great advice. I tend to have a nice mix of traditional names and original. But love your take on it: I will throw your book across the room!" hahaha! I kinda sorta felt that way about Peeta in The Hunger Games. Loved the book, was not fond of the names in it.

elizabeth mueller said...

Hi Jaime! Thank you for following my blog--I really appreciate it!

I know what you mean about using long and exhausting names! I actually stopped reading a book with long weird fantasy names with about a thousand main characters (exaggerating here). I got a headache!!!

LOVE your ranting!!
:)

Yamile said...

I so agree with this post! I just changed a few of my character's names, not because they were "weird/long" but because they all sounded the same. For some reason most of my girls' names started with a C and only contained the vowels "a" and "i." Had I wanted to do it on purpose, I'm sure I could not have found a singe one!

Rhonda said...

My head hurts and my eyes have completely shut down in self defense after reading that sentence. :) Those books do make a satisfying thud when they hit the wall!

Suzette Saxton said...

LAUGHING! Love it.

Mary Campbell said...

Very funny - post and so true. It was great hanging with you at the party last week.

Kimberly said...

Don stole my comment. The nerve.