Thursday, September 3, 2009

Forget the Tooth Fairy, I want a Dishes Fairy

Why should children get all the supernatural fun?

I hereby petition the universe for help for grown ups. How about:

  • A Dishes Fairy - she (or he, I don't care what gender) visits kitchens of good little moms and dads while their sleeping and cleans all the dishes with a wave of his/her wand
  • A Taxes Fairy
  • A Whining Elf - if the kids whine then their mouth gets magically glued shut for at least 10 minutes
  • A Bathroom-Cleaning Fairy
  • A Jolly old elf with reindeer who will do my grocery shopping--and ad match!
  • A Homework Fairy - must be impervious to whining
  • A Car Washing Bunny
  • A Lego-Scooping Pixie - who will find all those nearly invisible ones that I don't see until I step on them in bare feet in the dark
  • A Weeding Elf
  • A Laundry Folding Fairy
  • A Diaper Changing Fairy
  • A Hunt Down My Kids Wherever They Are in the Neighborhood Bunny
This reminds me of a book I recently read about, How to Ditch Your Fairy by Justine Larbalestier. (Because I have to somehow tie this in to books, since this is my author blog, right?) It sounds right up my alley, but I'll have to wait until the end of September to get my hands on it.

Product Description:
Everyone in New Avalon has a fairy. Though invisible, a personal fairy is vital to success. It might determine whether you pass a math class or find the perfect outfit. But all fourteen-year-old Charlie can do is find parking spaces—and she doesn’t even drive. At first, teaming up with Fiorenza (who has an all-the-boys-like-you fairy) seems like a great idea. But when Charlie unexpectedly gets her heart’s desire, she’ll have to resort to extraordinary measures to ditch her fairy.

Just reading about it on Justine's site made me want to read it. And Justine's thought of some great fairies, like The Bladder Fairy (You never need to go in the middle of a movie and when you do need to go there’s always a bathroom around) and The Clean-clothes Fairy (No one will ever spill spaghetti on your white sweater again. Boring but useful), The Knowing-what-your-children-are-up-to Fairy (which I need), and The Good Story Fairy (Even when bad things happen to you this fairy turns them into an excellent story).

I've shared a few of the Fairies I'd like to have. What Fairies would you want?


Carrie Harris said...

When you're done with the Lego-Scooping fairy, can you send her to my house? I hope she does Matchbox cars too.

Don said...

I want the Alert-in-the-morning-and-sleepy-at-night fairy, and the Remove-the-calories-but-leave-the-taste imp.

ElanaJ said...

I totally want the laundry and dishes fairy. How about a Time Fairy? She can stop time if needed, make it go backward so you can fix mistakes, etc. That would be awesome. And you know how I feel about time. :)

Novice Writer Anonymous said...

I'll take the laundry fairy.

And I so could have used the time fairy when I was in grad school.

Oooh, that's a good one, Don! I'll take that calorie one too!

Ooooh, a manure-mucking fairy! That's one I want. He'll take care of all that horse manure so we never have to touch it again!

L.T. Elliot said...

I'd have a toy-room-cleaning fairy and a magic-food-appearing fairy. I'd never have to cook again.